a lenten miracle

i planned to spend tuesday morning with a friend at one of our favorite coffeeshops.

when i arrive i notice that i have missed a call and have a new voicemail message.
it is from the same area code as the university in california where i interviewed a couple of weeks ago.

i listen to the message. it is from the department chair. he asks me to call him back at home.

my mind is racing. why is he calling me from home?

i thought this: the chair was very kind to me during my interview. he is probably calling me, privately, to explain to me, gently, why they haven't chosen me for the position.

but then i think aloud, they can't reject me until the other woman signs her contract. and she couldn't have signed so quickly... or could she?

my friend tells me, "just call him back!"

so i do. he makes polite small talk with me. "how are you? how have you been doing?"

fine fine. i tell him that i have just come back from my sister's wedding.

"oh so you were just in california!"

"yes."

awkward pause.

"well, i'm sorry that it's taken me this long to get back to you," he says. "but i wanted to ask you if you're still interested in the position?'

"yes."

"ok. well, the faculty was very impressed by you."

"ok." (i didn't really know what to say to that. thank you?)

"so i'm going to go ahead and talk to the dean, and i'll call you back in a day or two."

"ok..."

"so i'll call you back in a couple of days to see what kind of offer we can make you."

"are you making me an offer?" i ask, tentatively.

"i have to talk to the dean," he says, quickly. "unofficially yes. but i'll call you back. in a couple of days. bye."

"bye."

a little stunned, i want to be happy, because i think that i've just been offered the job. but not really.

nevertheless, i sprint across the parking lot (i'd been talking on the phone outside) and into the coffeeshop and give my friend an enormous hug.

"i think i got the job!!!!" i say. "kind of."

i recount the conversation to her, and we decide that it would be best not to say anything to anyone until i have been given "official" news. i don't want to raise my family's hopes and then have them be disappointed.

so i wait. one day. two days. on the third day, the chair calls again. we have a remarkably similar conversation.

hello how are you? how have you been? are you still interested in the position?

then, after an eternity of talking around the subject, i ask, "just to clarify. have you chosen ME for the position?"

"yes!" he says. "we would like YOU to fill this position."

forgive the pop culture comparison, but have you all seen the movie legally blonde? during the first part of the movie, everyone ridicules reese for being blonde, not smart enough to be at harvard, etc. finally, she decides to apply herself, to prove everyone wrong. and there are these coveted legal internships. the professor is only going to choose four people. the students gather around the list of names that have been posted. the first three choices were expected.

then one of the students says, "that only leaves one for--"

and reese interjects, wide-eyed, surprised, and wildly happy, "ME!!!!"

it's an amazing moment in the film. her reaction, incredibly raw.

but that is exactly how i felt on friday when he told me they had selected me.

ME!!!

y'all. i'm going back to cali!!!

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