blinking

my parents threw me a party yesterday. while i did plenty of celebrating while in austin, i had yet to celebrate with my extended family. the majority of my aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. are in bakersfield, so the family celebration needed to be here.

my dad comes from a family of nine children; my mother from a family of eight. as you can imagine, i have numerous first cousins. my dad's side of the family had a stronger showing yesterday, which was really nice. with everyone getting older, it seems rare that we are all in one place any more. many of my cousins are now married with families of their own, and moving to bigger houses in different parts of town.

it doesn't seem that long ago that we would see each other all the time. we would see some of our cousins during sunday visits to our grandparents house, but the bigger showings were for birthdays, christmas, thanksgiving, easter, mother's day, and other celebrations. there were tons of us, and we would be running around every sqare inch of my grandparents' house and yard.

they lived a green house on fargo street, on a lot where an abandoned and dilapidated wood-framed house also sat. we marveled when our parents told us that when they were young, all nine of the kids plus our grandparents lived in that tiny wood-framed house. was that true? i hated to step foot in that house; i felt like the floor would collapse under me. and the mice. the boys told me that there were mice.

i remember two metal poles in the backyard to suspend laundry lines. one of those poles was SAFE for a game of tag or hide and go seek. i could hold on to one of those poles and spin around and around until i was dizzy and my hand smelled like metal.

and the outhouse. it looked like a tall wooden crate, painted the same color as the house. it was pitch black on the inside with a dark hole that led to the center of the earth for all i knew. we would dare each other to step in and close the door while one of us would count.

on one side of the house, a tall tree from which we sting pin~atas for birthday parties. the big kids swinging hard, and the brave ones crawling quickly on the grass to snatch fallen candies even while someone was still wielding a baseball bat.

we used to be those sweaty, rambunctious, teasing, daring kids.

but now we are the grownups. we are the ladies in the kitchen making food; the grownups in the living talking about work; the ones scolding children for running in the house! getting too close to the pool! not eating everything on their plates! being mean to their sister!

it's funny. how in the blink of an eye, you can find yourself on the other side.

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