milestones

there are certain milestones in a person's life. they are often life-changing and/or might symbolize the journey toward adulthood or toward accomplishing ones' goals or dreams.

i witness the people around me reaching milestones, seems like all the time these days.

three major ones, not necessarily in this order:

1. marriage. two years ago, i stood next to my best friend at the altar of the church i attended every sunday until i was 17 years old. she had a series of viable husband candidate-types as boyfriends (she was never the magnet for emotionally unavailable men that i am). she met and married someone totally against type. and it was kind of great. and it seems to be going well. (more on this in my discussion of milestone #3).

but it's not just her. most of my bakersfield friends are married. i would say all but two are married actually. my sister, who is four years younger than i am, is engaged and even her friends seem to be gaining marriage momentum.

2. home ownership. the aforementioned best friend moved into a house with her new husband shortly after they married. i know a few of other women my age who have owned (one by herself, two with their husbands) actual houses.

most everyone i know lives in apartments.

this weekend i had the opportunity to see the condominium that my brother - who is 23 years old - is buying in modesto. it's brand new. bigger, newer, and a little more fancy that most apartments i've seen. he expects to move in next month sometime.

my sister and her fiancee also recently found out that they had won some housing lottery, so they'll be home owners by spring of next year.

3. babies. everybody's having them. ok. just kidding. it's all my family and a few of my close friends. refer back to milestone #1. today i stood next to my best friend at the altar of our home church again, this time for her baby's baptism. it was great. i am the madrina. her comadre. i feel like it wasn't so long ago that she got married. but here she is, hitting another milestone.

i have to remember that, as a graduate student, my milestones are different. finishing my MA was a milestone. getting funding to conduct dissertation research. that was a milestone. finishing my dissertation - really finishing it - and getting my ph.d. will be a big one.

i wonder sometimes just how different the stones along my path are going to be.

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