anticlimax

this afternoon i finished the conclusion of my dissertation.

i had planned it in three sections.

the first was summary. it was relatively easy to write because i'd already been through it a million times.

the second was proposing future research in a local sense. what are the interesting social/cultural happenings in the valley, on the border right now. my focus at that point was mainly the social relations between mexican americans and mexican immigrants. where there are affinities and where there are tensions.

when i arrived in california three weeks ago, only the third section remained. which is why i photographed my dissertation (see earlier blog post) and boldly stated that i only had five more pages to write. ha!

the third section of the conclusion, in many ways, tries to be bigger than its britches. it talks about how mexican origin people in the valley imagine themselves as part of the nation. i suggest that the rhetoric about and community response to local military involvement illustrate peoples' "americanism."

i'm really just "suggesting" issues that might deserve some hapless researcher's attention. (let's face it; i'm hoping *i'll* be the hapless researcher to get the gig!).

anyway, i finished section three. so i guess my dissertation is finished.

it doesn't feel finished.

probably because i have to do one more round of line editing, add maps and graphs, and give it to my advisor who will suggest one more major revision before i print and bind and distribute to my committee members. and then i'll defend it and hopefully they'll pass me without asking me to make more revisions. if they do, well, you know.

can you see why "finished" is such a subjective term?

@>-->>---