drive

i took an old drive last weekend. that is, i took a drive that i used to make several times a year during a certain period of my life. east on seventh standard to the I-5; north on the five one hundred and seventy miles; west on the 152 through the mountains; north on the 101 all the way to the bay.

that was my route to and from the bay area from 1993-1999. i knew those roads like the back of my hand--every truck stop, patches of agriculture, every mountain pass, reservoir, traffic spots, etc. i used to make mix tapes that would fill the hours of my trip. i used to arrive at my destination hoarse from singing the entire way.

i used to enjoy those drives, the time that it gave me to think.

i stopped driving those kinds of long distances once i moved to texas. i didn't have family that i would drive to visit. there were trips to the valley, but those were few and far between. most of my traveling was by plane. the brief and halting flights and layovers from austin to bakersfield never held the same rhythm or inspired the same kind of meditation as my long drives. it probably has something to do with seeing the landscape, now that i think about it.

in any event, i found myself making a long drive last weekend. i had forgotten how tiring it can be in the car, how your eyes grow weary, your shoulders stiffen, and your lower back begins to ache. then there is the helplessness you feel when traffic comes to a halt on the interstate because of an accident.

nevertheless, i found myself enjoying the drive. my mix tapes have yielded to a car adapter for my ipod, and now i can chat on my cell phone with joseph, but much of the experience is the same. there are the almond groves i remember on seventh standard; the seemingly miles and miles of cattle at harris ranch; the reservoir off of the 152; the old farm houses and farms along the way.

these are some of the things that i enjoy about being back in california--the land and the memories that it elicits. these are some of the things that i enjoy about being back home.

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tejana?

i'm actually a little embarrassed that i didn't score higher on this test.

You are 80% REAL Texan!!

 

You're way more Texan than average. You're parents were probably from here too. We're glad to have you. You probably go to the border for Christmas shopping and are well versed in BBQ, Mexican Food and .. well thats pretty much it.

How Texan Are You?

my girlfriends, olga and laura, both scored more texan than i did! i'm not worthy of their tejana company. :(

and let's not mention it to my sixth generation texan boyfriend!

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hiatus and a new home

the problem with taking a long blog hiatus is that, when it comes time to post again, you hardly know where to begin.

well. first things first. i moved to a new city. i now live in one of the less glamorous parts of california. sometimes, it's beautiful. the town is nestled on the cusp of the desert and the edge of the mountains; the landscape is much more striking than what i'd experienced in texas. but some days the smog is so thick, you can't even see the mountains. and you feel a little nervous that you are breathing the same brown air you see at the horizon. and then there are times that you feel like you might be sitting for days in traffic. but that's just southern california, i suppose.

second. i started a new job. sometime during the first or second week of the quarter, i was walking from my office to my class. i could hear the click clack of my heels on the floor; i had my lecture notes and my books in my over-the-shoulder black bag. the students around me--all young, dressed in slouchy clothes and flip flops--were filing into their buildings, their classrooms. and all of a sudden it hit me: i'm a professor!

i have those occasional surges of happiness when i realize that, after all these years of studying, i'm doing what i always wanted to do. there are also moments of anxiety when people talk to me about publications and university service and tenure. but mostly, i've been able to take the job in stride.

i miss my friends in austin. and i miss austin. but everyone assures me that i'm in an adjustment period. that it's just a matter of time before this feels like home, too.

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